I have recently gained weight..About 1 year ago my husband said a nasty commet about me weight during a argument,,however I never forgot it...My self esteem is so low I hate going annywhere,doing anything,I wont have sex without a shirt,,,I always feel down like someone is talking about,staring at me,,pointing and laughing...My husband regrets and has app.he dose try to make me feel good but I feel I'm traped in my own body,,,So any advice,words of encouragement ot help me overcome this...much neededI need advice or words of encouragement?
I am sure he didnt mean what he said, when people get into arguements they say things they dont mean. I dont know how over weight you are, but I went throught the same thing with my husband. I was always skinny even after having kids I hit my 40's and the weight came on fast I went from 130 to 170lbs (height5'5 )in 2 years. My son who is 8 one day said to me mom are you having a baby. I was devasted. So that was it. I started slow I would walk the beach every morning before work a mile then 2 miles. Then I would have small portions no sugar at all. I would take my 8 year old after work to walk the beach again with me. And in one month I lost 12lbs and losing. Start slow smaller portions,and drink water, walking and then move onto cardio stuff like riding a bike etc. Now I feel better. You dont have to feel trapped just say I am going to lose weight and do it. It may take a while for you to lose but you can do it. Forgive your husband and move on, and take control of your life. Good luckI need advice or words of encouragement?
Of course your self esteem is flailing! Your husband has scarred you and made you worry even more with his spiteful words. My advice would be to work on self acceptance. Whether that self be chunky or thin. And then begin to realize that you are not trapped in your body, you have the power to change it if you so choose, and maybe your husband should realize that often when their chunky wives lose their excess weight they also tend to lose their excess baggage (namely them) in favour of someone who loves them unconditionally. Good luck to you. You can do it. You're ok no matter what size you are, love yourself, the rest will come.
Why don't you and your husband join a gym together. That way you guys can help, encourage, and work out with each other.
Change your eatinghabits and get out and do things.
Don't waste time being down about it. Fix it and as you fix it you're outlook will start to change and you will feel better.
Try losing the weight, I know it's hard but isn't it harder feeling the way you do right now. Most people try those stupid quick fix diets that don't work. Make your own plan you know what you should and shouldn't eat and how much is really to much. You don't need someone to tell you that. Also get a buddy a lot of people want to loose weight I am sure you have a friend that can be a walking partner or gym buddy so you can motivate each other. When you have a weight lose buddy it really helps because people are natural competitors we like to do better than others so it really motivates you try it and don't give up it takes patience to lose weight but you can do it. In the mean time it may cost a little money but get you some outfits that compliment the body type you currently have. Good luck and if you try this keep us updated on your lose so we can also motivate you and cheer you on. :)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Any advice or words of wisdom for a 22 week pregnant momma to be..?
Hey. I am 22 weeks pregnant today. I sometimes have days where I still seem to have some morning sickness. no throw up though which is great.. I am having some pains every so often in my belly and my guess is that they are growing pains because my uterus is stretching for the baby. I cant really get much sleep because no position is easy for me. I feel more comfortable just relaxing on my back but have been reading to many things pointing me away from doing that. We just found out that we are having a girl. Is it possible to feel like this pregnancy is taking forever or that I feel like my partner is not always by my side. event though he is 100%. I just have alot of thins running through my head and dont really have anyone to talk to about anything.Any advice or words of wisdom for a 22 week pregnant momma to be..?
Everything you have described both physically and emotionally are 100% normal. Talk it out with your partner and tell them that you feel the way you do but be nice about it because we pregnant women have lots of hormones they may not be ignoring you as much as it feels they are.
Sleep on your side (either one) and stuff a pillow behind you back, and put one between our knees. use two for your head or one of those ones with a roll in it.
The growing pains subside and then return sometimes later i pregnancy.
Congrats on the baby girl!Any advice or words of wisdom for a 22 week pregnant momma to be..?
In a little while, sleeping on your back won't work. Get used to sleeping on your side.
By the way, enjoy whatever sleep you can now as in a few months sleep will be really hard to get.
Try warm milk at bedtime, good for you and good for the baby. It helps relax you so you may get to sleep more easily.
You are normal. It's hormones making you grouchy and as she grows, your gal will start excreting her own jolts of estrogen, which will make you feel even crazier! (I am telling you so that when you feel that ';I know this is ridiculous'; urge to cry during that Gerber baby food commercial thats on TV or seeing the childbirth video in the prep class makes you wail like an infant - not cause you are scared, but bc it's amazing - you'll know what I'm talking about and what is causing it.... LOLOL). I am a back sleeper myself. I have a big husband pillow that I layer with two pillows. I can sleep on my back that way, but propped up so that I am not flat. More like reclining. That usually works for part of the night cause I hate sleeping on my sides... LOL. I do still rotate between those two positions though. You are so totally normal and yes, it can seem to be taking forever, because I bet your are only barely showing too. The more she moves and kicks and the more you grow, the more excited you will get. And then you will start to get uncomfortable and grumpy (it's cramped and those pesky hormones again - ha). And then you'll have her and it will be wonderful! Hope I helped. *big hug*
EDIT: And a huge ditto on the benedryl. I have that stuffiness too and that in addition to not being able to sleep and snoring (my poor sweet husband suffers through this temporary unattractive state) led my MD to also recommend taking 1 to 2 benedryl. It helps a lot - with relaxing and with stuffiness.
And yes, those sound like growing pains. You are right on track for that too. I hope that we arent' annoying you like the other gal said she felt, since I gathered that you were looking for reassurance and an ';I know just how you feel'; because I do know. You can take tylenol for the round ligament pains (growing pains). They DO hurt.
http://pregnancy.healthguru.com/content/鈥?/a>
There is a lot going on at this point in the pregnancy so its no wonder you feel a little all over the place. I highly recommend this website,its a great week by week guide to your pregnancy and a nice place to meet other mommies to be. Good Luck
awww, a baby girl!!! they're wonderful : ) hang in there!!
I had a girl nearly 6 weeks ago. I had sickness up until 3 weeks before I had her, and she was 15 days late. I was very emotional during my pregnancy and often just sat and cried most of the time and felt alone, no matter how many people that I had around me at the time, and the more that women told me that they knew what I was going through the more that I got annoyed with them. The pains that you are experiencing sound like they are where your uterus is stretching and you belly growing. I think that if you feel like crying then cry, better out then in. Good luck and I hope that it goes well. If you want to email me then I am sure that you can contact me again through here!
Your feelings are completely normal...your man is trying harder then you think it's just hard for them because they don't completely understand what is going on with your body. Believe me, I understand your frustration...just hang in there..your half way through! The pains in your belly are most likely your stomach muscles streching cause your baby is getting bigger...I would talk to your doctor about sleeping on your back and see what he/she thinks...as far as the nausea....have you been tested for gestational diabetes?...I was like that...real nauseated and then when we found out I had Gestational Diabetes they put me on a diet and I felt great! Good luck...I hope things get better!
we are in the same boat
this is my third child but my hubby is more into this one
sleeping is terrible i cant stand it my dr told me to take a benydrl before bed and that should help some
other then that the stuff you are feeling is normal its hormones they too will pass soon enough hope all is good with you and your baby
P.S im having a boy so some stuff is differentbeauty advice
Everything you have described both physically and emotionally are 100% normal. Talk it out with your partner and tell them that you feel the way you do but be nice about it because we pregnant women have lots of hormones they may not be ignoring you as much as it feels they are.
Sleep on your side (either one) and stuff a pillow behind you back, and put one between our knees. use two for your head or one of those ones with a roll in it.
The growing pains subside and then return sometimes later i pregnancy.
Congrats on the baby girl!Any advice or words of wisdom for a 22 week pregnant momma to be..?
In a little while, sleeping on your back won't work. Get used to sleeping on your side.
By the way, enjoy whatever sleep you can now as in a few months sleep will be really hard to get.
Try warm milk at bedtime, good for you and good for the baby. It helps relax you so you may get to sleep more easily.
You are normal. It's hormones making you grouchy and as she grows, your gal will start excreting her own jolts of estrogen, which will make you feel even crazier! (I am telling you so that when you feel that ';I know this is ridiculous'; urge to cry during that Gerber baby food commercial thats on TV or seeing the childbirth video in the prep class makes you wail like an infant - not cause you are scared, but bc it's amazing - you'll know what I'm talking about and what is causing it.... LOLOL). I am a back sleeper myself. I have a big husband pillow that I layer with two pillows. I can sleep on my back that way, but propped up so that I am not flat. More like reclining. That usually works for part of the night cause I hate sleeping on my sides... LOL. I do still rotate between those two positions though. You are so totally normal and yes, it can seem to be taking forever, because I bet your are only barely showing too. The more she moves and kicks and the more you grow, the more excited you will get. And then you will start to get uncomfortable and grumpy (it's cramped and those pesky hormones again - ha). And then you'll have her and it will be wonderful! Hope I helped. *big hug*
EDIT: And a huge ditto on the benedryl. I have that stuffiness too and that in addition to not being able to sleep and snoring (my poor sweet husband suffers through this temporary unattractive state) led my MD to also recommend taking 1 to 2 benedryl. It helps a lot - with relaxing and with stuffiness.
And yes, those sound like growing pains. You are right on track for that too. I hope that we arent' annoying you like the other gal said she felt, since I gathered that you were looking for reassurance and an ';I know just how you feel'; because I do know. You can take tylenol for the round ligament pains (growing pains). They DO hurt.
http://pregnancy.healthguru.com/content/鈥?/a>
There is a lot going on at this point in the pregnancy so its no wonder you feel a little all over the place. I highly recommend this website,its a great week by week guide to your pregnancy and a nice place to meet other mommies to be. Good Luck
awww, a baby girl!!! they're wonderful : ) hang in there!!
I had a girl nearly 6 weeks ago. I had sickness up until 3 weeks before I had her, and she was 15 days late. I was very emotional during my pregnancy and often just sat and cried most of the time and felt alone, no matter how many people that I had around me at the time, and the more that women told me that they knew what I was going through the more that I got annoyed with them. The pains that you are experiencing sound like they are where your uterus is stretching and you belly growing. I think that if you feel like crying then cry, better out then in. Good luck and I hope that it goes well. If you want to email me then I am sure that you can contact me again through here!
Your feelings are completely normal...your man is trying harder then you think it's just hard for them because they don't completely understand what is going on with your body. Believe me, I understand your frustration...just hang in there..your half way through! The pains in your belly are most likely your stomach muscles streching cause your baby is getting bigger...I would talk to your doctor about sleeping on your back and see what he/she thinks...as far as the nausea....have you been tested for gestational diabetes?...I was like that...real nauseated and then when we found out I had Gestational Diabetes they put me on a diet and I felt great! Good luck...I hope things get better!
we are in the same boat
this is my third child but my hubby is more into this one
sleeping is terrible i cant stand it my dr told me to take a benydrl before bed and that should help some
other then that the stuff you are feeling is normal its hormones they too will pass soon enough hope all is good with you and your baby
P.S im having a boy so some stuff is different
Depression - advice/help/words of wisdom?
i'm going to grad school in the fall, so i have something ot look forward to.
i don't have a summer job and really have no money, so i don't go out of my apartment much. i go for walks every day and i cook food for fun, but mostly, there isn't much i consider fun and more and more i find it harder to get out of bed. plus, i've been SO tired, i sleep like 12 hours a day. i've been trying to find a job, but no call backs.
i don't have friends in my life and my family ... well, they're downers and being around them makes me feel worse.
i kinda feel like life and time are just passing me by.
it's only june, and i'm afraid the hole might get deeper as the summer goes along. help?
oh, and i don't have health insurance and, like i said, i don't have a job or money, so please don't suggest i go see a doctor.Depression - advice/help/words of wisdom?
I hear several issues here. Sounds like you know what answers to expect so maybe you just need to bounce them off someone (strangers).
Here are some suggestions. You pick what you think might apply to you:
You are looking forward too far when you look at autumn. Look at tomorrow morning or this afternoon. Plant some flowers and look forward to blossoms or stick a tomato in a pot and look forward to fruit. You need more immediate rewards. Invite a neighbor over or a fellow student and plan a special meal, maybe cook on the grill, make a light salad dressing. Then you'll have something to look forward to. Who cares if you make a friend? It'll be fun.
Cook light. Eating carbs is immediate reward but can make you tired. Eat more raw veggies and less pasta. Drink fresh water. Get plenty of B vitamins (or take a supplement). Stay away from onions and meat as these can make you sleepy. Drink mint tea and take Ginseng to perk you up. No more than 10 or 12 ounces of soda pop a day.
Get a funky job that is way beneath you. It's just a summer job. Work at McDonald's, a car wash or parking attendant or pushing carts at the supermarket. Volunteer at the animal shelter. If you haven't applied at 100 places, in this economy, you're not even trying. Take a part time job that no one else wants. Get involved helping at a church camp or ask at the police department what organizations need a warm body this summer. Try to get something that will keep you on your feet and outdoors.
Your tiredness is probably just mild depression. But it can be a symptom of something physical going on too. Are you prone to anemia? Take iron %26amp; B vitamins Low thyroid? Kelp supplements and avoid fluoride. Just getting over an infection? Boost your immune system with Ginkgo, Gotu Kola, Ginseng and vitamins A, C %26amp; E.Depression - advice/help/words of wisdom?
there is a medicine for depression which cured me completely.Its a combination of ginseng+ashwagandha+20 ingredines which are complete safe with no side effects.Beauty is it can be taken with english medicines with no side effects at all. mail me at* karan_depression@yahoo.com * for more...
Volunteer to help a Charity! There are so many opportunities to help others. In helping others, you will help yourself too!
American Red Cross
American Cancer Society
Salvation Army
Your local church
Meals on Wheels
Your local hospital
You can call your local chamber of commerce. They will have a list of local charities. Just pick one and call them. Tell the people at the charity that you want to volunteer. They will love to have you!
Best wishes and good luck. And ... have a great summer helping yourself by helping others.
Energy shifts are happening right now for everyone, and things are going to be turning around by the end of June after the summer solitice, so hang in there and just know everyone is going through some energy shifts right now, just some are hitting others harder.
http://www.healingartforms.com/apps/blog鈥?/a>
I found that a gluten free diet was the only thing that really helped with depression.
man up.
Sorry that you are feeling this way I know how awful this feeling is.
I understand that you didn't want suggestions about going to the doctor but, please just hear me out.
Try a mental health clinic, they do blood work there also, it's how I found out about my thyroid problem.
They charge on a sliding fee scale.
I went for a year and it cost me fifteen dollars and I was able to make payments on just that small amount.
Keep your focus on Grad school as much as you can.
Best wishes.
What kinds of food are you cooking for fun? Are they loaded with white sugar, white flour, fat, sodium? I found that my moods improved when I started finding ways to cook healthier foods for myself. I still enjoy making sweet treats, but I take them to gatherings so other people can eat them.
One other suggestion is to write a simple list of positives each morning. Start with 1, then work your way up to as many as you can.
And if boredom is a problem, perhaps you could find volunteer work until you get a job?
i don't have a summer job and really have no money, so i don't go out of my apartment much. i go for walks every day and i cook food for fun, but mostly, there isn't much i consider fun and more and more i find it harder to get out of bed. plus, i've been SO tired, i sleep like 12 hours a day. i've been trying to find a job, but no call backs.
i don't have friends in my life and my family ... well, they're downers and being around them makes me feel worse.
i kinda feel like life and time are just passing me by.
it's only june, and i'm afraid the hole might get deeper as the summer goes along. help?
oh, and i don't have health insurance and, like i said, i don't have a job or money, so please don't suggest i go see a doctor.Depression - advice/help/words of wisdom?
I hear several issues here. Sounds like you know what answers to expect so maybe you just need to bounce them off someone (strangers).
Here are some suggestions. You pick what you think might apply to you:
You are looking forward too far when you look at autumn. Look at tomorrow morning or this afternoon. Plant some flowers and look forward to blossoms or stick a tomato in a pot and look forward to fruit. You need more immediate rewards. Invite a neighbor over or a fellow student and plan a special meal, maybe cook on the grill, make a light salad dressing. Then you'll have something to look forward to. Who cares if you make a friend? It'll be fun.
Cook light. Eating carbs is immediate reward but can make you tired. Eat more raw veggies and less pasta. Drink fresh water. Get plenty of B vitamins (or take a supplement). Stay away from onions and meat as these can make you sleepy. Drink mint tea and take Ginseng to perk you up. No more than 10 or 12 ounces of soda pop a day.
Get a funky job that is way beneath you. It's just a summer job. Work at McDonald's, a car wash or parking attendant or pushing carts at the supermarket. Volunteer at the animal shelter. If you haven't applied at 100 places, in this economy, you're not even trying. Take a part time job that no one else wants. Get involved helping at a church camp or ask at the police department what organizations need a warm body this summer. Try to get something that will keep you on your feet and outdoors.
Your tiredness is probably just mild depression. But it can be a symptom of something physical going on too. Are you prone to anemia? Take iron %26amp; B vitamins Low thyroid? Kelp supplements and avoid fluoride. Just getting over an infection? Boost your immune system with Ginkgo, Gotu Kola, Ginseng and vitamins A, C %26amp; E.Depression - advice/help/words of wisdom?
there is a medicine for depression which cured me completely.Its a combination of ginseng+ashwagandha+20 ingredines which are complete safe with no side effects.Beauty is it can be taken with english medicines with no side effects at all. mail me at* karan_depression@yahoo.com * for more...
Report Abuse
Volunteer to help a Charity! There are so many opportunities to help others. In helping others, you will help yourself too!
American Red Cross
American Cancer Society
Salvation Army
Your local church
Meals on Wheels
Your local hospital
You can call your local chamber of commerce. They will have a list of local charities. Just pick one and call them. Tell the people at the charity that you want to volunteer. They will love to have you!
Best wishes and good luck. And ... have a great summer helping yourself by helping others.
Energy shifts are happening right now for everyone, and things are going to be turning around by the end of June after the summer solitice, so hang in there and just know everyone is going through some energy shifts right now, just some are hitting others harder.
http://www.healingartforms.com/apps/blog鈥?/a>
I found that a gluten free diet was the only thing that really helped with depression.
man up.
Sorry that you are feeling this way I know how awful this feeling is.
I understand that you didn't want suggestions about going to the doctor but, please just hear me out.
Try a mental health clinic, they do blood work there also, it's how I found out about my thyroid problem.
They charge on a sliding fee scale.
I went for a year and it cost me fifteen dollars and I was able to make payments on just that small amount.
Keep your focus on Grad school as much as you can.
Best wishes.
What kinds of food are you cooking for fun? Are they loaded with white sugar, white flour, fat, sodium? I found that my moods improved when I started finding ways to cook healthier foods for myself. I still enjoy making sweet treats, but I take them to gatherings so other people can eat them.
One other suggestion is to write a simple list of positives each morning. Start with 1, then work your way up to as many as you can.
And if boredom is a problem, perhaps you could find volunteer work until you get a job?
I'm in love with this girl...mates from school, not a word. I'd like a bit of advice...please?
So. There is this amazing girl that goes to my school and my church. We are heaps great ';friends';. It being school holidays (in Australia) and all we hang out all the time. Like 6 days a week. She lives a ten minute walk from my house and we usually meet up somewhere to hang out or whatever. I've liked her since the start of 2007. We've been through some rocky stuff friendships wise but yeah. Anyway, to the point. I love her. I can't imagin life without her. She knows I love her and she supposedly loves me back. Her and her family came over to our house last night and we were watching a movie in my room (her brother and his girlfriend on the top bunk, me and the most amazing girl in the world on the bottom bunk) and she was holding my hand for aLittlee bit during the movie. We got a phone call from somemutuall friends (it being New Years Eve and everything) and we were pretending to be going out (cause the girl that was calling had been in Thailand yadayada) so we were swapping the phones saying that we were going out and everything but then she laughed and told them it was a joke. This went on for like 5 minutes. We text like every night till after midnight. I've gathered that she is most likely relatively keen on me but at the moment I feel that its more like friends with benifits (nothing bad at all, just hanging out alone all the time).
I'm wondering, my real question is, should I ask her out. Or ask her what she would say if I asked her out or something. All I want to do is love her and protect her and defend her. I want her to be mine. I love her so much. So people all over the world. What does a fourteen year old on the Gold Coast do?
Thanks everyone in advance.I'm in love with this girl...mates from school, not a word. I'd like a bit of advice...please?
Thanks for making it easy to read and using good grammar.
Do not ask her out or ask her if you should or ask her anything. Simply ADVANCE. Do not use words. Watch a movie, then lean in for the kiss. Don't complicate it and make yourself nervous. Try to hold her hand while walking. Give her signals of interest. Don't treat her like a friend, you are not there for that. You are there to be her boyfriend. Friendship affection does not lead to a relationship. You have to communicate your interest with body language. NOT with words. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend, dont ask her anything. ADVANCE. If she rejects the actions that you display, you will KNOW how she feels about you. By testing the waters with your advancing behavior, you will truly understand if she likes you back the same way. Again do not use words, because you won't get the truth.
College Guy 18
Tampa, Fl
Flamedisc91@msn.comI'm in love with this girl...mates from school, not a word. I'd like a bit of advice...please?
I think you should ask her out. Tell her how much she means to you and that you really care about her and think that she is the greatest girl in the world. I think she likes you too!
Go for it! You'll never know what happens until you try. The worst she could do is reject you. If that happens then, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
i think that you should get 2 know her more, then start flirting mildly , then she how she reacts and if she's flirty~ flirty back then ask her out
omg u should show that to her! then say to her once she red
';(name) your the most amazing girl 铆've ever met!, will u be my gf?
n if she red that writing you wrote then she cant say no! because thats really sweet what u wrote
ahhhhhhhhhh! excessive details!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your 14? wow! well 1st of all your very young. and is this the first ';girlfriend'; you have ever had? 2nd i think you should not go too fast and come out and ask her what would she do if someone asked her that. that gives her a big hint you want to.
I think you should go for it. You should ask her what she would say if you asked her out. It seems like you really truly love her. So don't be ashamed to say what you feel. Im sure she will be happy to see that you care about her so much.
Best of luck!
Whoa. Tim. Like.......whoa. That's all I can say. Just so you know, I know who it is. Made the connection. ;).
Anyway, first of all, I know her, and I think that she would defiantlly say yes if you asked her out. But if you do it, then don't say ';will you be my gf?';. that's a gay line :). Say exactly what you feel, and she will respond.
Good luck Tim, happy new year and check your emails cause I'm replying.
I'm wondering, my real question is, should I ask her out. Or ask her what she would say if I asked her out or something. All I want to do is love her and protect her and defend her. I want her to be mine. I love her so much. So people all over the world. What does a fourteen year old on the Gold Coast do?
Thanks everyone in advance.I'm in love with this girl...mates from school, not a word. I'd like a bit of advice...please?
Thanks for making it easy to read and using good grammar.
Do not ask her out or ask her if you should or ask her anything. Simply ADVANCE. Do not use words. Watch a movie, then lean in for the kiss. Don't complicate it and make yourself nervous. Try to hold her hand while walking. Give her signals of interest. Don't treat her like a friend, you are not there for that. You are there to be her boyfriend. Friendship affection does not lead to a relationship. You have to communicate your interest with body language. NOT with words. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend, dont ask her anything. ADVANCE. If she rejects the actions that you display, you will KNOW how she feels about you. By testing the waters with your advancing behavior, you will truly understand if she likes you back the same way. Again do not use words, because you won't get the truth.
College Guy 18
Tampa, Fl
Flamedisc91@msn.comI'm in love with this girl...mates from school, not a word. I'd like a bit of advice...please?
I think you should ask her out. Tell her how much she means to you and that you really care about her and think that she is the greatest girl in the world. I think she likes you too!
Go for it! You'll never know what happens until you try. The worst she could do is reject you. If that happens then, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
i think that you should get 2 know her more, then start flirting mildly , then she how she reacts and if she's flirty~ flirty back then ask her out
omg u should show that to her! then say to her once she red
';(name) your the most amazing girl 铆've ever met!, will u be my gf?
n if she red that writing you wrote then she cant say no! because thats really sweet what u wrote
ahhhhhhhhhh! excessive details!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your 14? wow! well 1st of all your very young. and is this the first ';girlfriend'; you have ever had? 2nd i think you should not go too fast and come out and ask her what would she do if someone asked her that. that gives her a big hint you want to.
I think you should go for it. You should ask her what she would say if you asked her out. It seems like you really truly love her. So don't be ashamed to say what you feel. Im sure she will be happy to see that you care about her so much.
Best of luck!
Whoa. Tim. Like.......whoa. That's all I can say. Just so you know, I know who it is. Made the connection. ;).
Anyway, first of all, I know her, and I think that she would defiantlly say yes if you asked her out. But if you do it, then don't say ';will you be my gf?';. that's a gay line :). Say exactly what you feel, and she will respond.
Good luck Tim, happy new year and check your emails cause I'm replying.
I need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?
ok so i am currently 30 weeks pregnant. my husband lost his job a couple of week back and has not been able to find work as of yet. i am on bedrest due to preterm labor so i cannot participate in our income right now. money was already REALLY tight for us. we have a 3 year old already and we are coming to realize that we may not be able to properly provide for our new baby. we live in a one bedroom aprtment only and cannot afford anything bigger. we already struggle to make ends meet and to feed and clothe the son we already have. i love my new lil baby more than life itself and thought that we could do this but as i get closer to me due date i am realizing that we cant! i really want the best for my baby and want him to have a good life. i am literally crying my eyes out right now as i am typing this and am considering adoption. it hurts me to even say that and i feel like such a horrible mother! i love him sooooo much but i want what is best for him, and unfortunately it doesnt look like i am it! i am deeply hurt and depressed and i am coming here for advice on what to do/where to start because i really have no clue how adoption works or where i should even start. if anyone has advice that would be wonderful and please dont judge me i already feel horrible enough as it is. thanks so muchI need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?
All I can say is that things will get better. I have been there myself with niether of us working and having no money for food let alone new clothes and having to go ask the social welfare for money...but something always comes up.
The most important thing is that you love your children and are willing to work...just tell your husband to keep looking and he WILL find a job...even if he has to work in McDonalds til he gets something better.
Good luckI need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?
You do not have to give up your baby the same thing happened to me. You can get on WIC, you can get public assistance.
If you do want to give it up then you have to contact family services they can put you in contact with people.
DONT GIVE UP YOUR BABY!!!! that's horrible....
there is soooo much govt help out there!
apply for WIC....both you and your 3 year old qualify!
and once your baby is born he will too...they also give you free immunizations.
apply for medicare/medicaid....they will help with hospital bills!
have your husband apply for unemployment and you too!!!!
apply for food stamps and welfare!!!!!!!
God wouldn't let this happen to you if you couldn't handle it.
You are much stronger then you give yourself credit for... most women do this.
I would seek the advice of a counsellor before making any decisions.
I think it adoption is your only choice, than you are doing the right thing. It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but knowing you child will have a good life is worth it. You can do an open adoption where you can send pictures and letters of your family and they will send you pictures of your child back. Look up on the internet for local adoption agencies. They will give you information and support during this time.
I would also look into getting on as much state assistance as you can until your husband finds a job. My husband is the only one working right now, so we had to get food stamps. It was hard for me to accept them, but it's a lot of help and the only way we can buy food.
The best of luck to you. Praying really helps in a time like this. It says in the Bible that God won't put you through anything you can't handle. So hang in there and you will get through this.
*hugz*
hunni you CAN do this!! you said you want the best for him.well guess waht right now you are :) you both made him and you are keeping him alive you should be proud already..now there is so much help about there with money and benifits.my dad lost his when mum had my brother and she talked to the midwife and then she went to the job centre as explained.honestly i know you want the best but they dont need fancy clothes.all they need is LOVE and you as you obv can DEf give it to this little thing inside you as you said you love it more than life itself.there are so many ways hunni.dont keep this bottled up.there is so much help out there.tell this to your midwife or doctor even.and then go to jobcentre and explain ur man has lost his job and tell them your income and they tell you exctly how much money your entiled to they will help you through it.or get your man to go down as your in bed at the mom or ask a friend.you can also call them :) so just calm down and take a deep breath and relax as there is so many options.*hugz* a wish you and your family best of luck..i know you will pick the right choice :) xx
does your husband get unemployment? that would help. also, since you are pregnant you can get help from social services. i know this is a last resort for you, but you need all the help you can get. sign up for medi-cal or whatever your state has for help medically. the people at social services can help a great deal. do all this before making any rash decisions. they can also help with your housing problem. you can afford this child, you just have to ';bear with the times'; and get your husband busy with getting you all the help that is available
Don't feel bad. There is a bunch of things you can do. Honestly stay in the one bedroom. I know people that have done one bedrooms with two kids. And for now, get on welfare. Get the link for food which is food stamps, go to the thirft store to buy clothes, which you dont even need to buy clothes that often. I wouldnt recommended 2nd hand clothes from a store for the new baby unless you know the person or they are family. Get on WIC for the baby which is free formula. And it might sound bad but go to a shelter and say your boyfriend was beating you and you ran from him and they will give you diapers and strollers and what not. I know that sounds bad but you dont have to give them any information on the father so why not go for it if you need the help.
i am really sorry your are in this position i really feel for you and your husbandx i think giving up a child must be the hardest thing in the world and there are people who can help. I am not sure where you live, or if you live in a council house or a private house cause there are many things that can be done to help you financially. I am 21 weeks pregnant and i am a social worker so i have worked and met many people in your situation and it is only now that i am pregnant with my 1st child i realise how hard balancing everything is and the emtions involved.
I would contact the local social work department to ask for financial help and assistance, also the housing department to look at going on the list for a council house or getting help with rent or mortgage payments. It depends where you live if you can apply for a crisis loan or a community care grant to help you, if you are both not working you should be entitled to money through sure start or the baby grant scheme its 拢500 which can help a little. I would really need to know where you live to give you the advice and the people to phone etc.
Adoption is not easy and i can understand why you are so upset but should be the last resort there can be other ways to help and things can get better. I know its hard but try not to worry as you need to make sure health wise you are ok just now
let me know some more info and i can try and helpxx
Don't do it. Next month I'm going to be 18 %26amp; it'll have been a year %26amp; a half that i lost my baby to miscarriage. %26amp; i was definitely not ready for any of the financial things that had to be taken care of. I had to pay all my medical bills. Everyone of them, even when I lost her :[ %26amp; i would do it over again if I could just have her.
You'll regret it. I didn't lose my baby on purpose but no matter what situation I don't think I'd ever give my baby up for adoption. Especially not in yuor situation. I know this is probably really hard for you, but you already have a 3 year old. When that baby grows up %26amp; finds you %26amp; your husband %26amp; your son that was three years older then him, he's gonnna feel like ****. No matter what you try telling him. %26amp; the reason for that is because you already had a son in the first place. It would have been harder with the new babay yes, %26amp; he'll probably understand that part of it. But I think he would feel as i do right now just thinking of how you already had one kid why not me??
Just please don't do it. There are so many places that can help you guys out %26amp; its not an adoption center. Wica %26amp; welfare. I'm serious. These places have helped out many mothers i know who still aren't even middle class but their glad they kept their babies. The best is what their giving to them %26amp; they woudln't have it any other way :[
Oh my god, i feel awful for you. try and pull yourself together and keep you head up high. Your husband will be able to find a new job, dont worry about that. If not, parents or any relatives that would be able to help you out until you get abit of cash?
If you cant, then adoption may be the way to go. I dont really have any right to say that though, its all your decision.
Hope everything works out x
All I can say is that things will get better. I have been there myself with niether of us working and having no money for food let alone new clothes and having to go ask the social welfare for money...but something always comes up.
The most important thing is that you love your children and are willing to work...just tell your husband to keep looking and he WILL find a job...even if he has to work in McDonalds til he gets something better.
Good luckI need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?
You do not have to give up your baby the same thing happened to me. You can get on WIC, you can get public assistance.
If you do want to give it up then you have to contact family services they can put you in contact with people.
DONT GIVE UP YOUR BABY!!!! that's horrible....
there is soooo much govt help out there!
apply for WIC....both you and your 3 year old qualify!
and once your baby is born he will too...they also give you free immunizations.
apply for medicare/medicaid....they will help with hospital bills!
have your husband apply for unemployment and you too!!!!
apply for food stamps and welfare!!!!!!!
God wouldn't let this happen to you if you couldn't handle it.
You are much stronger then you give yourself credit for... most women do this.
I would seek the advice of a counsellor before making any decisions.
I think it adoption is your only choice, than you are doing the right thing. It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but knowing you child will have a good life is worth it. You can do an open adoption where you can send pictures and letters of your family and they will send you pictures of your child back. Look up on the internet for local adoption agencies. They will give you information and support during this time.
I would also look into getting on as much state assistance as you can until your husband finds a job. My husband is the only one working right now, so we had to get food stamps. It was hard for me to accept them, but it's a lot of help and the only way we can buy food.
The best of luck to you. Praying really helps in a time like this. It says in the Bible that God won't put you through anything you can't handle. So hang in there and you will get through this.
*hugz*
hunni you CAN do this!! you said you want the best for him.well guess waht right now you are :) you both made him and you are keeping him alive you should be proud already..now there is so much help about there with money and benifits.my dad lost his when mum had my brother and she talked to the midwife and then she went to the job centre as explained.honestly i know you want the best but they dont need fancy clothes.all they need is LOVE and you as you obv can DEf give it to this little thing inside you as you said you love it more than life itself.there are so many ways hunni.dont keep this bottled up.there is so much help out there.tell this to your midwife or doctor even.and then go to jobcentre and explain ur man has lost his job and tell them your income and they tell you exctly how much money your entiled to they will help you through it.or get your man to go down as your in bed at the mom or ask a friend.you can also call them :) so just calm down and take a deep breath and relax as there is so many options.*hugz* a wish you and your family best of luck..i know you will pick the right choice :) xx
does your husband get unemployment? that would help. also, since you are pregnant you can get help from social services. i know this is a last resort for you, but you need all the help you can get. sign up for medi-cal or whatever your state has for help medically. the people at social services can help a great deal. do all this before making any rash decisions. they can also help with your housing problem. you can afford this child, you just have to ';bear with the times'; and get your husband busy with getting you all the help that is available
Don't feel bad. There is a bunch of things you can do. Honestly stay in the one bedroom. I know people that have done one bedrooms with two kids. And for now, get on welfare. Get the link for food which is food stamps, go to the thirft store to buy clothes, which you dont even need to buy clothes that often. I wouldnt recommended 2nd hand clothes from a store for the new baby unless you know the person or they are family. Get on WIC for the baby which is free formula. And it might sound bad but go to a shelter and say your boyfriend was beating you and you ran from him and they will give you diapers and strollers and what not. I know that sounds bad but you dont have to give them any information on the father so why not go for it if you need the help.
i am really sorry your are in this position i really feel for you and your husbandx i think giving up a child must be the hardest thing in the world and there are people who can help. I am not sure where you live, or if you live in a council house or a private house cause there are many things that can be done to help you financially. I am 21 weeks pregnant and i am a social worker so i have worked and met many people in your situation and it is only now that i am pregnant with my 1st child i realise how hard balancing everything is and the emtions involved.
I would contact the local social work department to ask for financial help and assistance, also the housing department to look at going on the list for a council house or getting help with rent or mortgage payments. It depends where you live if you can apply for a crisis loan or a community care grant to help you, if you are both not working you should be entitled to money through sure start or the baby grant scheme its 拢500 which can help a little. I would really need to know where you live to give you the advice and the people to phone etc.
Adoption is not easy and i can understand why you are so upset but should be the last resort there can be other ways to help and things can get better. I know its hard but try not to worry as you need to make sure health wise you are ok just now
let me know some more info and i can try and helpxx
Don't do it. Next month I'm going to be 18 %26amp; it'll have been a year %26amp; a half that i lost my baby to miscarriage. %26amp; i was definitely not ready for any of the financial things that had to be taken care of. I had to pay all my medical bills. Everyone of them, even when I lost her :[ %26amp; i would do it over again if I could just have her.
You'll regret it. I didn't lose my baby on purpose but no matter what situation I don't think I'd ever give my baby up for adoption. Especially not in yuor situation. I know this is probably really hard for you, but you already have a 3 year old. When that baby grows up %26amp; finds you %26amp; your husband %26amp; your son that was three years older then him, he's gonnna feel like ****. No matter what you try telling him. %26amp; the reason for that is because you already had a son in the first place. It would have been harder with the new babay yes, %26amp; he'll probably understand that part of it. But I think he would feel as i do right now just thinking of how you already had one kid why not me??
Just please don't do it. There are so many places that can help you guys out %26amp; its not an adoption center. Wica %26amp; welfare. I'm serious. These places have helped out many mothers i know who still aren't even middle class but their glad they kept their babies. The best is what their giving to them %26amp; they woudln't have it any other way :[
Oh my god, i feel awful for you. try and pull yourself together and keep you head up high. Your husband will be able to find a new job, dont worry about that. If not, parents or any relatives that would be able to help you out until you get abit of cash?
If you cant, then adoption may be the way to go. I dont really have any right to say that though, its all your decision.
Hope everything works out x
I need relationship advice/ words of wisdom. From eighteen year olds and up only please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
I've been dating my fiance since I was thirteen (now I'm eighteen) and lately I just can't shake the thought about how much our relationship has changed. It's not that it's bad, it's just that it's different. I keep thinking about how absolutely and purely happy we were back in 2003 and how things are different now. Like I said, things aren't bad but, when we first met, each kiss and hug was so special, each phone conversation was so exciting, and each moment was so treasured. Now everything's just so.. normal? Our kisses aren't bad, our hugs aren't bad, and our phone conversations aren't bad either it's just that it bothers me that it's not so exciting now. Is this just because we've been together for so long? Is this normal for every long long term relationship? Is there any way that I can re - spark the magic for us? I miss the old days and it bothers me that they are gone because it seems like they just happened yesterday. I know that new relationship only seem so exciting because you are still learning the person but is there any way to make things just as special as they used to be even though we know virtually EVERYTHING about each other already?I need relationship advice/ words of wisdom. From eighteen year olds and up only please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
I pretty much have been in your situation before. I have only dated one person my entire life! Funny thing is we are going to get married! We met as Juniors in high school and it immediately seemed perfect! Like you said each kiss and hug was just like a firework show! Now that time has passed little things too have passed. I no longer keep count of every single kiss and I no longer get shy in front of him when we are together. Things have changed since we have gotten to know each other, but in my opinion it is for the better. Every time I look in his eyes I still get butterflies and we have amazing times together! There are some things I miss about before, but I am content where i am! I think that you need to look into your relationship. If you think that this she is the one you want to marry then you need to stay with her. If not then look around. There are plenty of people! :) I suggest that if you want to stay with her then you realize what a blessing it is that things have changed a little. Now you both understand each other better, you both have matured, and you both love each other enough to have lasted this long! That is something to be proud of!I need relationship advice/ words of wisdom. From eighteen year olds and up only please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Until you turn 30 you realize the kind of person you want to marry, don't try to lock yourself into your childhood love life as this is only part of things you did when you were young and stupi,
Do you have a toddler or one in preschool?
I am 30 years old and have had my fair share of relationships, good and bad.
You are very young. You will keep changing the rest of your life, but particularly until your mid 20s. Trust me, you will be a very different person at 21 and again at 25. I seriously doubt that this relationship will last forever. That is not necessarily a bad thing. I suggest dating around and playing the field while you are young, rather than getting married young and then living to regret it and wondering what you are missing out on.
some people like the ease of a relationship as they get older.. but you're only 18 so its tough because you are still very young (regarding lifelong partners/marriage)
of course there are ways to spice things up.. surprise him with a weekend away, leave little notes for him, go on 'dates' again if you don't still do that - maybe revisit some of the places you used to go to when you were younger.
talk to him - see what he thinks
every relationship will lose that shiny, special, new feeling because after awhile, it's not new anymore. there's nothing you can do to change that but that doesn't mean you can't still have some spark or have fun. be open to each other's ideas and don't be afraid to communicate. if you think you're getting stuck in a rut, speak up because he can't read your mind:) he might feel the same way but could be afraid of speaking up himself or sometimes, guys are just dense about those things lol. but, if you're meant to be, you'll enjoy doing normal things and it will only get better. but that doesn't mean you won't have hard times either because all relationships have ups and downs, some bigger than others. you have to be willing to work on it.
one thing i can say for sure though is i changed immensely from 18 to 21 to 25 and there's no way i could have known at 18 what i wanted by the time i was 25. i would strongly advise to have a longer engagement. there's a lot of growing up to do and you'll be surprised in a year or two or five what you've learned and what you still have to learn. good luck! the only way you can do this is by living:)
New things are always exciting, and just as predictably, as you get used to them they become less exciting. That doesn't mean the old and familiar should be discarded. Mature love is a gift. It is what sticks through the ups and downs, sicknesses, and tragedies. You can be yourself without fear of rejection. You have the stability to create a home.
You CAN have those sparks, but they will be different and you have to work a little harder. Every healthy long-term marriage I know of still has times when one partner looks at the other and feels such overwhelming love that it takes his/her breath away. It just doesn't happen all the time. Thank goodness, I say! How would we accomplish anything? Think back to those early times. Do you remember how hard it was to concentrate on anything except your new-found love? Mature love allows you to have it all!
I think that's the path most relationships go down, although it doesn't need to be that way. If you see your fiance every day, try taking a few days off- take a trip for a few days- because, really, distance makes the heart grow fonder. If you don't see your fiance everyday, or you think that maybe the normal everyday activities are bringing you two down, go on a vacation with your fiance- get away from it all- somewhere relaxing, but somewhere you can find something exciting to do- something new to learn- skiing, skydiving, snorkeling, whatever.
that is pretty much how relationships go ... that spark is usually rekindled if one of you goes away for a weekend, but complacency is quite normal ...
to respark, you both need to make an effort ... meet each other for a date at a nice new restaurant and don't get ready together ... I shower and primp in the gym locker-room sometimes ... you can also try new things in the bedroom (if your relationship is at that level) ...
relationships will also change as you mature and experience new things in life ... you each will adapt to the world around you in the way that is most fitting for your personalities ... newness is always exciting, but newness wears off ... stability and trust should be cherished ...
I pretty much have been in your situation before. I have only dated one person my entire life! Funny thing is we are going to get married! We met as Juniors in high school and it immediately seemed perfect! Like you said each kiss and hug was just like a firework show! Now that time has passed little things too have passed. I no longer keep count of every single kiss and I no longer get shy in front of him when we are together. Things have changed since we have gotten to know each other, but in my opinion it is for the better. Every time I look in his eyes I still get butterflies and we have amazing times together! There are some things I miss about before, but I am content where i am! I think that you need to look into your relationship. If you think that this she is the one you want to marry then you need to stay with her. If not then look around. There are plenty of people! :) I suggest that if you want to stay with her then you realize what a blessing it is that things have changed a little. Now you both understand each other better, you both have matured, and you both love each other enough to have lasted this long! That is something to be proud of!I need relationship advice/ words of wisdom. From eighteen year olds and up only please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Until you turn 30 you realize the kind of person you want to marry, don't try to lock yourself into your childhood love life as this is only part of things you did when you were young and stupi,
Do you have a toddler or one in preschool?
I am 30 years old and have had my fair share of relationships, good and bad.
You are very young. You will keep changing the rest of your life, but particularly until your mid 20s. Trust me, you will be a very different person at 21 and again at 25. I seriously doubt that this relationship will last forever. That is not necessarily a bad thing. I suggest dating around and playing the field while you are young, rather than getting married young and then living to regret it and wondering what you are missing out on.
some people like the ease of a relationship as they get older.. but you're only 18 so its tough because you are still very young (regarding lifelong partners/marriage)
of course there are ways to spice things up.. surprise him with a weekend away, leave little notes for him, go on 'dates' again if you don't still do that - maybe revisit some of the places you used to go to when you were younger.
talk to him - see what he thinks
every relationship will lose that shiny, special, new feeling because after awhile, it's not new anymore. there's nothing you can do to change that but that doesn't mean you can't still have some spark or have fun. be open to each other's ideas and don't be afraid to communicate. if you think you're getting stuck in a rut, speak up because he can't read your mind:) he might feel the same way but could be afraid of speaking up himself or sometimes, guys are just dense about those things lol. but, if you're meant to be, you'll enjoy doing normal things and it will only get better. but that doesn't mean you won't have hard times either because all relationships have ups and downs, some bigger than others. you have to be willing to work on it.
one thing i can say for sure though is i changed immensely from 18 to 21 to 25 and there's no way i could have known at 18 what i wanted by the time i was 25. i would strongly advise to have a longer engagement. there's a lot of growing up to do and you'll be surprised in a year or two or five what you've learned and what you still have to learn. good luck! the only way you can do this is by living:)
New things are always exciting, and just as predictably, as you get used to them they become less exciting. That doesn't mean the old and familiar should be discarded. Mature love is a gift. It is what sticks through the ups and downs, sicknesses, and tragedies. You can be yourself without fear of rejection. You have the stability to create a home.
You CAN have those sparks, but they will be different and you have to work a little harder. Every healthy long-term marriage I know of still has times when one partner looks at the other and feels such overwhelming love that it takes his/her breath away. It just doesn't happen all the time. Thank goodness, I say! How would we accomplish anything? Think back to those early times. Do you remember how hard it was to concentrate on anything except your new-found love? Mature love allows you to have it all!
I think that's the path most relationships go down, although it doesn't need to be that way. If you see your fiance every day, try taking a few days off- take a trip for a few days- because, really, distance makes the heart grow fonder. If you don't see your fiance everyday, or you think that maybe the normal everyday activities are bringing you two down, go on a vacation with your fiance- get away from it all- somewhere relaxing, but somewhere you can find something exciting to do- something new to learn- skiing, skydiving, snorkeling, whatever.
that is pretty much how relationships go ... that spark is usually rekindled if one of you goes away for a weekend, but complacency is quite normal ...
to respark, you both need to make an effort ... meet each other for a date at a nice new restaurant and don't get ready together ... I shower and primp in the gym locker-room sometimes ... you can also try new things in the bedroom (if your relationship is at that level) ...
relationships will also change as you mature and experience new things in life ... you each will adapt to the world around you in the way that is most fitting for your personalities ... newness is always exciting, but newness wears off ... stability and trust should be cherished ...
Friday, July 30, 2010
What are some words of wisdom or advice you have received that has really touched you?
';your not promised anything but family the rest is xtraWhat are some words of wisdom or advice you have received that has really touched you?
Someone once asked me what I want in life. I told him I want to be happy his answer was: So be Happy. And you know what if you want to be happy you can be happy in any situation. It is definetely a matter of choice. I have gone through alot in my lifetime and that is the one thing that has pulled me through. Happiness.
Someone once asked me what I want in life. I told him I want to be happy his answer was: So be Happy. And you know what if you want to be happy you can be happy in any situation. It is definetely a matter of choice. I have gone through alot in my lifetime and that is the one thing that has pulled me through. Happiness.
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