My husband and I are considering becoming foster parents. Any words of wisdom or advice?

Laura,





That is so awesome!





There are a couple of families in my church that have had several foster children through the years. One older couple (70's) has a 16 year old! Another mid 30's couple could not have children, so they got a foster child, and then adopted him.





I have long time friends from school that took in a foster child and adopted him. Foster families deserve respect, and you have mine.





There are all kinds of scenarios you will run into. Some will be pretty normal kids and their ';stuff';.





There are other situations where there has been problems with drug-abuse, sexual abuse, etc.





My wife's family is life long friends of one foster family. The little girl's mom was a crackhead. She (R) was a crack baby just a few months old. The doctors told them she would not live more than six months. She was blind, deaf and mute. They fed her through a tube.





She lived to be 16 years old. She died unable to see, speak or hear, but she communicated love.





When she first came into the foster home, the mom (S) was bedfast almost all the time because of her back.





But when this child (R) came into her life, she had to get up and care for her. Not only did she care for her, she fought for that little girl's life, because R was unable to fight for herself.





It was truly a miracle that R lived as long as she did. S saved her life. But it was equally a miracle that S got up out of bed every day to care for her daughter. Not only did the mom save R's life. The daughter saved the mom's life also.





We know this because R died in March of last year. The mom died three months later.





They are now in Heaven. And they are communicating freely and openly, without physical limitations.





I think Christian foster parents are awesome!





My only advice would be: Love them. No matter what.My husband and I are considering becoming foster parents. Any words of wisdom or advice?
You must be a strong wonderful person!!! I could not imagine having a baby then have to give it back!!! There need to be more people like you in the world!!!My husband and I are considering becoming foster parents. Any words of wisdom or advice?
Many times I considered reaching out to kids who need loving homes...what stopped me? The system. Kids are numbers to them, not people. I couldn't take having children bumped into and out of my life...because I want to provide a stability for them that the system is incapable of providing. Sending them back into homes that are unfit is another fear.


Had a friend who was a social worker. Was supposed to save abused kids...at the end of the day he went home and abused his wife. Had a friend who was supposed to check homes for ';safe environments'; for kids...his house was worse than a vagrants. The system is so back logged with children needing safe havens...they have become numbers. Foster families are few...


The system needs to be revamped, and unfit parents need to not have children.


If a foster family could be long term ';stand in'; parents, then and only then would I consider the honor of raising foster children. Kids are people and they need a whole lot of TLC. Not being placed, uprooted, placed and uprooted. They need loving stability. And all homes should have regular monitoring to protect the children. Foster kids are not slaves. They are children needing extra special love and care that their own families couldn't provide for them.
A man I used to work for and his wife got into taking children from abused homes,they would get them all messed up some had been burned,raped and otherwise abused,they were really good with these children,they had the patiance and love it took,they finally quit,because they would get the kids back almost normal,and the damn judges would put them right back in the homes with the abusers,they'd cry,I won't ever hurt them again,I was just messed up,I'm ok now,WELL a couple of them wasn't and the kids ended up dead,they couldn't take it no more,I tell you this so you might at least think about what kind or phase of help you want to get into,it can be very rewarding,but,also very heartbreaking for you's!!!
My son and his wife were foster parents for several yrs.It's a very demanding but rewarding thing to do.


You need the patience of Jobe,a ton of understanding,and a very big heart along with a lot of patience.More than you could ever realize.


You have to deal with child social workers as well as workers for yourself and your husband.You go through miles and miles of paperwork to get there as well as police checks.You go through checks of your home and deal with the social workers coming in and out of your home on visits with the child/children and visits with yourselves.


I am NOT TRYING TO DISCOURAGE YOU.Just giving you a rough outline of what you'll be facing to become a foster parent. It's hard work but as I said,very rewarding.


It's wonderful when a child comes into your home and very sad when they leave especially if you've had them any length of time.Babies are much easier to deal with than older children.My son had 3-9 yr. olds and faced a lot of difficult situations.


I wish you all the best and good luck.
My friend has been through foster care all of her life and from what I got from her they don't really like it when the foster family's try to control who they hang out with. Good luck and have fun!
Are you doing it for the money or the nurturing that you might be able to give these kids? If you're in it for the money, you're probably going to just do more damage to already screwed up minds. If you're in it for the nurturing, maybe you should consider a full adoption.
get your house ready, and baby proofed, because you never know what you will get, and make sure you have at least three beds for children, because alot of times the children have brothers/sisters, and since the foster fecility does not want to seperate them, they will send all of them to one family. make sure you have children's clothes (used or new) and always be ready for anything when it comes to cases like this, and try not to get TOO attatched to a child, because in many cases, the children are moved around alot... show alot of love and compassion to the children, because they deserve the upmost, and always be ready for anything, because who knows, they might be there to stay!
i dont have ne advice..but i think it's a very nice thing to do, alot of children really need a good adult influence and just someone who actually cares about them. That's great you are considering i hope water decision you make everything goes wonderfully :)
Be sensitive to these children. They come from broken homes and many have been abused.
Dont you have enough worries in your life?