Hi all, I need your advice tonight, My bf thinks racial slurs are ';words of empowerment,'; Where do I start?

I am multiracial and he isn't. He has never experienced racism. My family and I have been traumatized lifelong by racist remarks, so it is a sensitive area for me. Everyone is different - and I understand his perspective - but he doesn't understand mine. Without a feeling of safety, people in relationships cannot connect. He is losing me, I've told him this - but he doesn't understand why. Do you have any advice on how to explain this to him better? He is a great guy in many other ways and I don't want to lose him - but without trust and respect in a relationship, there can be no love.





What would you say to him if you were me?Hi all, I need your advice tonight, My bf thinks racial slurs are ';words of empowerment,'; Where do I start?
';Goodbye';





Forget this guy. You can't change this guy's thoughts. Just wait until he humiliates you by using racial epithets in front of your friends, family, or coworkers....maybe an employer. Move on -


No. Wait. Run!Hi all, I need your advice tonight, My bf thinks racial slurs are ';words of empowerment,'; Where do I start?
I want to thank each and everyone of you who answered my question - all of you helped me figure this out and get to the truth of what I needed to do.





Thanks much!


Baria

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You can sit him down and straight up explain how you feel. Don't be too overpowering because he doesn't understand, like you stated. Try to explain, fully, what you and your family has gone through and how it makes you feel when he maks remarks. Try to have him invision what it'd be like to be in your shoes and see how he reacts.


Best of luck, love!
First show him this answer. I am a true beleiver in not mixing races, I am a black man 43 years old and 12 years happily married. The reason i feel the way I do about mixed relationships is the fact that sooner or later someone is going to throw race cards at the other and that will never work. Thats my opinion and I do know couples that have proven me wrong, are you and yours going to be one of them, besides, only those closest to you know the words that hurt worse than bullets.
I would find slurs that apply to him, and use them relentlessly until he gets the message. There's a negative label for everyone if you look hard enough. Terrible, but true. But be warned, this may change his behavior, but it won't likely change his heart. Good luck.
Ask if he likes being called a fag, fairy or queer and let him know that it is the same thing he is doing to others and that it is not right to stereotype others he knows nothing about.
I think you should really consider a new bf...however you've alread said you want to keep him...soo...racial slurrs are not empowering they are a profound example of ignorance and intollerrence...he needs to do do a LOT of growing up!
Tell him he can call you racist names , but is never allowed to use them about others .
U mean he says, ';What's up *****';


It's a term of endearment