I need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?

ok so i am currently 30 weeks pregnant. my husband lost his job a couple of week back and has not been able to find work as of yet. i am on bedrest due to preterm labor so i cannot participate in our income right now. money was already REALLY tight for us. we have a 3 year old already and we are coming to realize that we may not be able to properly provide for our new baby. we live in a one bedroom aprtment only and cannot afford anything bigger. we already struggle to make ends meet and to feed and clothe the son we already have. i love my new lil baby more than life itself and thought that we could do this but as i get closer to me due date i am realizing that we cant! i really want the best for my baby and want him to have a good life. i am literally crying my eyes out right now as i am typing this and am considering adoption. it hurts me to even say that and i feel like such a horrible mother! i love him sooooo much but i want what is best for him, and unfortunately it doesnt look like i am it! i am deeply hurt and depressed and i am coming here for advice on what to do/where to start because i really have no clue how adoption works or where i should even start. if anyone has advice that would be wonderful and please dont judge me i already feel horrible enough as it is. thanks so muchI need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?
All I can say is that things will get better. I have been there myself with niether of us working and having no money for food let alone new clothes and having to go ask the social welfare for money...but something always comes up.


The most important thing is that you love your children and are willing to work...just tell your husband to keep looking and he WILL find a job...even if he has to work in McDonalds til he gets something better.


Good luckI need some SERIOUS advice/words of encouragement?
You do not have to give up your baby the same thing happened to me. You can get on WIC, you can get public assistance.


If you do want to give it up then you have to contact family services they can put you in contact with people.
DONT GIVE UP YOUR BABY!!!! that's horrible....


there is soooo much govt help out there!





apply for WIC....both you and your 3 year old qualify!


and once your baby is born he will too...they also give you free immunizations.


apply for medicare/medicaid....they will help with hospital bills!


have your husband apply for unemployment and you too!!!!


apply for food stamps and welfare!!!!!!!
God wouldn't let this happen to you if you couldn't handle it.


You are much stronger then you give yourself credit for... most women do this.


I would seek the advice of a counsellor before making any decisions.
I think it adoption is your only choice, than you are doing the right thing. It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but knowing you child will have a good life is worth it. You can do an open adoption where you can send pictures and letters of your family and they will send you pictures of your child back. Look up on the internet for local adoption agencies. They will give you information and support during this time.





I would also look into getting on as much state assistance as you can until your husband finds a job. My husband is the only one working right now, so we had to get food stamps. It was hard for me to accept them, but it's a lot of help and the only way we can buy food.





The best of luck to you. Praying really helps in a time like this. It says in the Bible that God won't put you through anything you can't handle. So hang in there and you will get through this.
*hugz*


hunni you CAN do this!! you said you want the best for him.well guess waht right now you are :) you both made him and you are keeping him alive you should be proud already..now there is so much help about there with money and benifits.my dad lost his when mum had my brother and she talked to the midwife and then she went to the job centre as explained.honestly i know you want the best but they dont need fancy clothes.all they need is LOVE and you as you obv can DEf give it to this little thing inside you as you said you love it more than life itself.there are so many ways hunni.dont keep this bottled up.there is so much help out there.tell this to your midwife or doctor even.and then go to jobcentre and explain ur man has lost his job and tell them your income and they tell you exctly how much money your entiled to they will help you through it.or get your man to go down as your in bed at the mom or ask a friend.you can also call them :) so just calm down and take a deep breath and relax as there is so many options.*hugz* a wish you and your family best of luck..i know you will pick the right choice :) xx
does your husband get unemployment? that would help. also, since you are pregnant you can get help from social services. i know this is a last resort for you, but you need all the help you can get. sign up for medi-cal or whatever your state has for help medically. the people at social services can help a great deal. do all this before making any rash decisions. they can also help with your housing problem. you can afford this child, you just have to ';bear with the times'; and get your husband busy with getting you all the help that is available
Don't feel bad. There is a bunch of things you can do. Honestly stay in the one bedroom. I know people that have done one bedrooms with two kids. And for now, get on welfare. Get the link for food which is food stamps, go to the thirft store to buy clothes, which you dont even need to buy clothes that often. I wouldnt recommended 2nd hand clothes from a store for the new baby unless you know the person or they are family. Get on WIC for the baby which is free formula. And it might sound bad but go to a shelter and say your boyfriend was beating you and you ran from him and they will give you diapers and strollers and what not. I know that sounds bad but you dont have to give them any information on the father so why not go for it if you need the help.
i am really sorry your are in this position i really feel for you and your husbandx i think giving up a child must be the hardest thing in the world and there are people who can help. I am not sure where you live, or if you live in a council house or a private house cause there are many things that can be done to help you financially. I am 21 weeks pregnant and i am a social worker so i have worked and met many people in your situation and it is only now that i am pregnant with my 1st child i realise how hard balancing everything is and the emtions involved.





I would contact the local social work department to ask for financial help and assistance, also the housing department to look at going on the list for a council house or getting help with rent or mortgage payments. It depends where you live if you can apply for a crisis loan or a community care grant to help you, if you are both not working you should be entitled to money through sure start or the baby grant scheme its 拢500 which can help a little. I would really need to know where you live to give you the advice and the people to phone etc.





Adoption is not easy and i can understand why you are so upset but should be the last resort there can be other ways to help and things can get better. I know its hard but try not to worry as you need to make sure health wise you are ok just now





let me know some more info and i can try and helpxx
Don't do it. Next month I'm going to be 18 %26amp; it'll have been a year %26amp; a half that i lost my baby to miscarriage. %26amp; i was definitely not ready for any of the financial things that had to be taken care of. I had to pay all my medical bills. Everyone of them, even when I lost her :[ %26amp; i would do it over again if I could just have her.


You'll regret it. I didn't lose my baby on purpose but no matter what situation I don't think I'd ever give my baby up for adoption. Especially not in yuor situation. I know this is probably really hard for you, but you already have a 3 year old. When that baby grows up %26amp; finds you %26amp; your husband %26amp; your son that was three years older then him, he's gonnna feel like ****. No matter what you try telling him. %26amp; the reason for that is because you already had a son in the first place. It would have been harder with the new babay yes, %26amp; he'll probably understand that part of it. But I think he would feel as i do right now just thinking of how you already had one kid why not me??





Just please don't do it. There are so many places that can help you guys out %26amp; its not an adoption center. Wica %26amp; welfare. I'm serious. These places have helped out many mothers i know who still aren't even middle class but their glad they kept their babies. The best is what their giving to them %26amp; they woudln't have it any other way :[
Oh my god, i feel awful for you. try and pull yourself together and keep you head up high. Your husband will be able to find a new job, dont worry about that. If not, parents or any relatives that would be able to help you out until you get abit of cash?


If you cant, then adoption may be the way to go. I dont really have any right to say that though, its all your decision.


Hope everything works out x