What advice can i give him? or words of comfort?

My brother married to his wife for 7 years is in need of comfort.... He has 2 girls with her. She left him the begining of January because she felt she was not happy in the marriage. He has changed alot and wants his family to be together. They both have seperate houses.. WEll she came back into the picture about three weeks ago. before she never wanted to see him nor talk to him other than things having to do with the kids. Well 3 weeks ago she hugs him and kisses him..giving him thoughts she wants to work it out. its been 6months of sepearation and he gave her an ultimadim.. 3 days ago she says i want to work it out...and he was super excited but then she starts crying.. and admitted to sleeping with someonelse.. now my brother is torn because he was the only person she had been with..and now that was gone.. he wants his family but every time he sees her he imagines her and the other man. Now my brother is calling me in tears asking what do i do? i don't know what to say? help?What advice can i give him? or words of comfort?
Just tell him





DOn't tell me bout yo mama's draws cuz she is stank and you are too.What advice can i give him? or words of comfort?
They need some counseling and to talk these issues out. As far as him being the only one she had ever been with, that may very well be why she wanted to ';test the waters'; outside the marriage a little bit. It may be hard on his ego to know he isn't the only one she has ever been touched by, but honestly that idea is a little bit antiquated anyway. The bigger issues are why she felt the need to leave and can they reconcile the marriage, especially for the kids sake.
He should make sure she's not just coming back to him because she's pregnant. Also make her get tested for STDs. If all checks out, I would tale her back and try to make it work. For better or for worse is part of the vows for a reason. I think if he tries to forgive her and make it work, he'll be happier in the long run.
Tell him that two wrongs can make a right Tell him tit for tat go and have an affair and hopefully he'll feel better and if this isn't part of his logic then tell him to take her back at least they'll be back together time will heal his wounds. S H I T happens he needs to ask himself if the shoe was on the other foot how does he think she would feel. Hell men been doing the s h i t for years and now the tables turn on them it's the end of the world boo f-ing who
Did she sleep with someone else when they were together or apart? If together I can understand his pain because that was deceitful, but if when they were separated, he needs to get over himself... I mean, I'm sure he has been with other woman and it is unfair of him to say ';every time he sees her that he sees her with another man'; It is rare to find anyone now a days that have only been with one or two people, If he wants to work it out with her then he just has to get past that. They still have two kids and a history.
My heart goes out to your brother and the kids. Maybe counseling will help them. To leave your husband is one thing but to leave the children is a totally different. That is very selfish and inconsiderate of her. I could never trust her after that and look at what she is putting the kids thru. My guess is that she left her family for this other man and it did not work with this other man and now she wants to come back home because she knows your brother loves her and will take her back.


I personally think he would do better in the long run without her.
I would suggest they get into family counselling, during break ups, people usually tend to gravitate towards someone that will comfort them during times of stress. Was it because she was with someone else that she left in the first place? infidelity can be worked out, if both want it that way. What's gone is gone, if he really wants to work it out, he needs to grieve for what is lost, and look towards the future, whether that be with her or with out her.
Honestly, I think he needs healing and he needs space from her, romantically, until he can figure out whether he can forgive her mistakes or not.





Remind him that no matter how much both of them wanted to, they can not change their past, and that maybe, if they really wants to make everything work (their marriage and their family) they will have to focus on the future...
Tell him the only reason she is coming back is because she left him for another man and the other guy used her up and now has dumped her skanky a s s and he is her fall back on man!!
They weren't together when this happened? He needs to get past it, if he really wants his family. However, she left once. What's to say she won't leave again? What changes did he have to make? Does he need counseling- from a professional? When he's imagining her with this other man, He's causing it to happen right then in his head. She's not doing it anymore. And she did not have to tell him. Lot's of people would not have. They really need professional counseling or to move on.
She was honest with him and that's huge, and for her to admit that must of been the toughest thing she has ever done. She could have said nothing but there is obvious and sincere guilt. Counciling for both will be a must and it will take time for the hurt to go away. I respect her for being truthful when so many would of lied or said nothing. I believe she truly loves him to be this honest with him.
If your brother believes that she is sincere and sorry then he should look in his heart and decide whether he has it in him to forgive her. Then suggest counseling, this mistake and unconditional love from your brother couild seal their marriage tight forever if they can make it through this rough time. I personally know of two people in my life that this has happened to and they have been married for at least twenty years past the horrible mistakes of the wifes...so there is hope.